Are you constantly seeking approval from clients at the expense of your own needs? Or perhaps you cling tightly to the day-to-day chaos of your business to avoid facing deep-seated issues? If this sounds familiar, your childhood attachment style may be running the show.
In this week’s Entrepreneurs Rising podcast, I unpack key lessons from episode 106 with Fabien Pataud.
By illuminating these attachment styles, we gain priceless self-awareness. But insight alone is insufficient; we must pair it with embodied practices like breathwork to retrain the nervous system.
If anxiety and self-sabotage persist in your entrepreneurial life, this episode provides a compass for locating your roots. It’s time to break free from your old patterns, heal old attachment wounds, and securely serve your business and clients.
IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL FIND OUT…
- Are you a people-pleasing entrepreneur? Learn how your childhood determines your business behaviour (03:47)
- Why you’re addicted to business chaos and how to break free (04:12)
- Feeling anxious? This simple breathwork instantly calms your mind (05:52)
- Transform your business by discovering your relationship attachment style (08:47)
QUOTES
“To build the relationship that you want, you’ve got to have the layers and the safety of a secure attachment, and that requires healing your insecure attachments” -Carl Taylor
“Many entrepreneurs who get to a certain level of business success are still stuck in the day-to-day operations because they’re not willing to let go and they want to be in control.” -Carl Taylor
RESOURCES
Entrepreneurs Rising Episode 106 with Fabien Pataud
The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
WHERE YOU CAN FIND CARL TAYLOR
Automation Agency
CarlTaylor.com.au
LinkedIn
Facebook
Twitter
TRANSCRIPTION
Carl Taylor (00:00):
As entrepreneurs, we let our attachment styles dictate unconsciously a lot. It dictates how we interact with clients. If you’re a business owner who a client says, I need this thing, and you drop everything, to focus on them as an urgency, or maybe you make the commitment like, we’re gonna get these things done in 24 hours. And because for you, it’s like a people pleasing, we have to over deliver, we have to hit that. And you never have any boundaries of like, sorry, that’s actually not reasonable. That’s probably due to your childhood traumas and how you show up in your attachment style that you’re actually approval seeking. Or you’re looking for safety and security through behaving those ways. And so while that creates good customer service, it may be in disservice to you as the entrepreneur.
Hey, everyone, you are listening to entrepreneurs rising. And I’m your host, Carl Taylor, and in this episode, we are recapping, well, don’t really recapping, I am sharing my biggest takeaways from the interview that I had with Fabian and it was a really great conversation. Fabian is really in line with the attachment style work, some of the polarity work, the embodiment work that I’ve been on, since 2019. And so let me just give you a little bit about Fabian just to remind you of who he is, if you haven’t listened to the full interview, and you do have the time where you can make the time I do recommend it.
That’s the recap, this is the My biggest takeaways of things that popped me just to help you get a condensed version, or to remind you of some of the big takeaway things, but I would definitely recommend you check out his other podcasts. It’s his podcast called functionally addicted podcast show, I do recommend you take a look at that, if you want to learn more. So Fabian Pataud, he probably just pronounced that wrong, I’m a little tired just to finish that interview. Really great conversation. He helps business owners professionals overcome the self sabotage of anxiety, emotional triggers.
And so the one of the best things he’s really shared through his own personal journey. He’s someone who has done the work to actually embody it. There are definitely parts of the work I know I’m doing with some men, where I’m probably only a couple of steps ahead of them in some of the work on my masculinity and relationship in particular business. I’ve been doing that for 20 odd years. In many areas, I’m probably multiple steps ahead. But in the relationship and escallonia sides of things, I’m probably still only one or two steps ahead. Whereas he really is clear the work he’s had to do on himself from his own childhood and how he shows up now, he’s really been able to embody this work and actually integrate it into who he is that he would be multiple steps ahead. So much so that we started having conversations about how we could do some stuff together. So we’ll see how things go.
So that was one of my biggest takeaways. It was going like, this is a guy that I’d love to have helping serve my community. The other thing that really popped out was, firstly, the reminder of how important attachment style is, and that as entrepreneurs, we let our attachment styles dictate unconsciously a lot. It dictates how we interact with clients. And you know, if you’re a business owner who a client says, I need this thing, and you drop everything, to focus on them as an urgency. Or maybe you make the commitment of like, we’re gonna get these things done in 24 hours. And because for you, it’s like a people pleasing, we have to over deliver, we have to hit that. And you never have any boundaries of like, sorry, that’s actually not reasonable. That’s probably due to your childhood traumas and how you show up in your attachment style, that you’re actually approval seeking. Or you’re looking for safety and security through behaving those ways. And so while that creates good customer service, it may be in disservice to you, as the entrepreneur.
Another common thing that entrepreneurs do, which I really enjoyed, that we touched on in the show, I mean, many entrepreneurs who they get to a certain level of financial success, business success, get they’re still so stuck in the day to day operations of the business, they’re not willing to let go they’re kind of control. And that’s because the chaos of what happens in the business gives them that sense of safety because they know that world is stepping out of that and the there’s anxiety and being outside of this chaotic environment and having peace that either doesn’t feel comfortable so they quickly jump back in and try and create chaos again.
All the more it makes them have to start facing some of this work and doing this trauma work. I mean, that’s what happened to me the first time that I realized I was financially free and my business didn’t really need me. It was when I started looking at myself, I started looking at my relationships, I started looking at this in a previous relationship to i So really looking at myself. And that was really good and also really challenging. I created new chaos is just outside of the business, I created chaos in my relationship, which ultimately led to that relationship to end. And so people, human beings, but entrepreneurs in particular, we do it. I believe there’s a reason most entrepreneurs are entrepreneurs, and it stems from our childhoods.
It might have been two year old might be three year old might have been seven year old you but somewhere along the line, something in there gave you the right personality mix and attachments that sent you down this path of pursuing success through entrepreneurship. Because it creates safety for you in a way that for others being an employee creates safety for them. Now, he didn’t fully get into all of that to that level in the in the interview, but it’s just some of my reflections. After our conversation. One of the really good things that he gave away, we did a little breath work, very simple breath, work hand on your chest, breathe and making sure that the audible sound of when you breathe out. So that’s, that was a really great tip.
But we didn’t just talk about it. Here’s how, you know, you’ve got these challenges, we ensured that we also touched on what you do about it? You know, how do you resolve this work, and a lot of it’s about you need to get out of your head, I speak from my own experience, many entrepreneurial men in particular that I know. They live in their head, that anxious all the time. And I was anxious all the time. And I can still have those moments where I get caught and stuck in my head. Because that’s, I think creating safety but I’m actually really dysregulated in my nervous system. Now if some of what I’m talking about, you’re like, What is he talking about? Two things, one, read the book, The Myth of normal by Gabor Ma Tei. The other book to read that Fabian mentioned on the interview was the Body Keeps the Score there. So there’s two books you could read to learn more about this.
The other thing is just coming listen to the longer interview. And that’s going to be a good place, you could also go back and listen to my interview with Damien, where we talked about masculine feminine polarity, we also had a slight touch on attachment as part of his work. So he believes that I agree that to really build this relationship that you want, you’ve got to have the layers and the safety of a secure attachment. And that requires healing your insecure attachments, and that takes time and work and being able to regulate yourself. And then being able to put in the layers of polarity into your relationship to bring back the passion, the spark, the sex, all the good, juicy fun stuff.
So that there’s a good foundation of security within the passion exciting chemistry of attraction. I think I’m going to leave this episode here. It’s a shorter one today. I am a little tired. I apologize that this is probably not as succinct as I could be unusually am only had four hours sleep. But I really wanted to give you this debrief straight after my conversation. I like to do them straight after I do the interview because it gives me a chance to be fresh at what we talked about. I’m probably just a little more tired today. So I do apologize to your listener if you’re feeling like this wasn’t the best episode. But it was a great conversation, some really big takeaways. Focus on getting out of your head. Phobias is probably the wrong word get out of your head, get into your body breathwork is a really great way to do that. The simple breath work that was mentioned on the show is really, really simple. Having the awareness super important to have those awareness.
That’s the first starting point as soon as you’re aware and go into a test of what your attachment style is how you attach to your significant other, be aware that your attachment is can be different with different people. My attachment style with Liz is different to my attachment style with my dad, which is different to my attachment style with my mom. So you know, these are different attachment styles that we have with all these people in our life. And it’s personal relationships is a great easy place. But you also have those sharp, your general attachment style will show up in how you’re dealing with clients, how you’re dealing with team, how you’re dealing with business partners, all of those things as well. So have the awareness, get clear on what you are. Do some breath work, explore some other modalities that get you more in your body, somatic work, somatic healing, sound therapy, all of those are great tools to help you in this journey. But I really encourage you to just delve more in listen to Fabians podcasts and continue listen to the show because we’re going to do some more content around this as we go as well. So until next time, keep up the journey you’ve been listening to entrepreneurs are rising. Thank you, dear listener for tuning in. I appreciate your time and look forward to connecting in future episodes if you would like show notes or any resources from today’s episode, you can find them at rising dot show rising dot show you can find the show notes for this episode and all other episodes as well as links to socials and or the ability to reach out and connect with me make your suggestions for future episodes. until next time keep up the journey
Outro:
You’ve been listening to Entrepreneurs Rising. Thank you, dear listener for tuning in. I appreciate your time and look forward to connecting in future episodes if you would like show notes or any resources from today’s episode, you can find them at rising.show rising.show you can find the show notes for this episode and all other episodes as well as links to socials and or the ability to reach out and connect with me make your suggestions for future episodes. Until next time, keep up the journey.
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